12-4-08 Email to a friend

Hi Bill:
It's nice to hear from you! (Although I tend to HATE group emails addressed to me, yours was palatable!). Exciting I am and happy for you!. It sounds like you are processing many feelings--and finding your own space--a true necessity for ANY sound-minded actor in the mad mad MAD world of theater & show business!

Congrats too on your 3 pussys (sorry--I HAD to go there)...I'm sure you will miss all three of them--!). I LOVE stroking mine--it's so soothing! ; )...

Hmmm--I myself have just completed a 6 six week therapy group on "Money and the Performing Artist" offered via Actors Work Program...I highly recommend it--but it sounds like you are on a different path than returning here...the world at large is much more open than linear New York...

The culmination of this round of "money and therapy issues together" will be my doing two songs at Dylan's here on 54th St. on the 11th of December. I have been again working with piano player Jerry Scott who's an excellent accompanist and plays at various venues in the city. It's a great vocal workout every week--keeps me on focus and the achieving of the goal to do the Dylan's thing is bleeding into other aspects of my life--in a good way. It's all about realistic goal-making that opens chakras, expands horizons and hopefully leads the artist toward some happy medium of fulfillment and sound financial practices (i.e., don't mix feeling your feelings with spending money--et al).

This email is somehow important because I consider you a peer in massage and a kindred spirit in terms of your being an actor--most of my "actor friends" hate emailing (they are too busy "really living") and I'm struggling now with the impingement of the Internet on all aspects of my creativity--addictive issues blah blah blah...but YOU are worthy of a personal and heartfelt email as much as digital turds of emails can be heartfelt!

Not much else to report except Rob Pinter a licensed masseur who is gay and lives in my hood was busted for prostitution in a completely trumped up charge a few weeks ago at the "Blue Door"--our troll mayor and his quality of life brigade continue to cut services and protect us heartily from "the small things" such as a major nuclear or biological terrorist attack; it comforts me to know that healers are being arrested. They pick on gays because gays tend not to fight back; they are the easiest prey--as history shows us...and as living day to day tells us...

-I am healthy and a work in progress (anger and woman--so easy to "go there"--have been processing many childhood memories and feelings of being abused by my mum--so be it)--the instinct to distrust women is so strong--I most of them to be ironies of nurturing, sneakiness and purveyors of rigidly correct dogma--like many special interest groups in the world--what's new about that? Also they are extremely bad bikers--their reflexes are really slow--the N.Y. street bikers that is...

-Still teaching Pilates at the infamous-youth-money and marketing obsessed (and oh so so empty) _____ gym;

-I'm still doing massage at _______ hospital one day a week--which is a welcome relief to the ups and downs of this neurotic economy (and my usual downtown client-demographic--which I'm always grateful for thank you very much); BUT at the hospital I love assisting people in relieving their pain and suffering as much as I can in my own small way...you can't beat being paid to heal the world. It's a lovely VARIETY of work I'm doing in massage now; exciting for me and challenging to learn from...the other day a family-member client said to me "It's so exhausting just watching a person breathe...as their last breath approaches". These are life-lessons that float above the little dramas of joy and pain; heartfelt lessons no school or yoga class can teach. I'm privileged to be a part of this. Being around death is the ultimate charnel-ground-Master teacher...

One of the songs I'm performing in my little showcase is one I wrote myself- a lovely little torch song called "LET'S DELAY"...Jesuz I'm a songwriter and this is the first "lead sheet" I've made in years--I guess the goal thing is working ; ).

Hmm; what else? Definitely time for me to meditate by going up to the roof and getting some light.

I'm amazed by the coldness overt ignorance of people in general --however

(is there some) hope-OBAMA: ) and life's little joys--music, sex, wine & "South Park" and the company of my own lovely little silver-green eyed-pussy ; )--not to mention exercise and living a relatively pain free daily life (THANK YOU GOD); oh--and CUTE BOYS and hot men--

make life worth living...my latest mantra is

"I radically accept this NOW!
I relax into it-
I release it-
and I move on!"

blessings in health and happiness
St.Orr

This is going on the blog...
12-4-08 NYC